hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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