You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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