Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
