Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
