i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
