SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
