if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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