so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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