im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
