My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As shirtless as possible
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
