Non-Jews are for practice
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
