It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
