I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
