Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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