she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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