Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
