we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
