we have pet lesbian snakes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
