Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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