i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
