I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
