i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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