dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
operation have a gay friend backfired
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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