SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
