Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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