pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
