So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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