i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i think my cat just said my name.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You ate ashes out of my bong
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