one two three fourrrrnication!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
