I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
