he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
