I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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