I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I supernannyed him into submission
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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