it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
