yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
