I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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