At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
