I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize