"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
