i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You're like the curious george of whores
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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