It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
