I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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