We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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