my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
