i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
