yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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