The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
one two three fourrrrnication!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
