I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
