Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
