If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
