Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
