ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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