I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
