i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
