She is in my trunk
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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