i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
