I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
