Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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