If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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